Prepping for Boonie Walk for Babies!

Everything ready to go for the walk! Poster, flyers, flowers and butterflies, my speech and all the other little stuff to go along with it!

Them: In a nutshell

Today I found out that my daughters' had their own medical records. Until today I thought theirs were just included in mine. So I got them to give me a copy. Looking through it, there were really only two pages that mattered. The nurses' notes and the doctors note. I few words caught my eye right off the bat, words like "previable" "agonal breathing" and "minimal movement" are words you never want to have used to describe your child. But there they are in black and white, exactly those words describing them. I was a little upset that my daughters' entire existance could be summed up in just two sheets. Then a wonderful friend of mine reminded me, that it isn't. Those two sheets don't tell how Hailey was laying across the top punching and kicking me. How Emilyn was laying on bottom dancing around. How they filled their parents with happiness for over 20 weeks and still to this day bring smiles through the tears of their mommy and daddy's faces. They live on in the blankets that I make, comforting other angel parents. They live on in the awareness I am bringing through the March of Dimes and the walk that I am planning for Saturday. They live on, and will continue to do so for many many years to come, forever if I can help it.

PLAY WITH ME

Molly was demanding I play with her tonight.


Daddy gave in

Delicious Caramel Apples!

Yummy dessert tonight! Apples with caramel! Though in saying that, this confirmed exactly why I do not buy fresh fruit or veggies at the commissary very often other than bananas! I had to throw one apple out, looked perfect on the outside, but was going bad on the inside! The second one was better, though it wasn't going to be too far behind ghe first. Notice the dog is prepositioned for when I sit down on the couch to beg.

Once Again Well Stocked!

After the generous donations of a few friends and discovering a big sale at Joanns.com I am well stocked with fleece for a little while. Yay, so many more blankets will made for sweet little angels!

Hubby Comes Home

Charles got home tonight after spending a week in St. Louis!

Guam Wildlife: Kitchen Edition

Ok, so usually I do two things when I buy flour on Guam. This time, I did neither and this is what I get for it! I usually open up the flour at the store and inspect it for bugs, if there are none I buy it. When I get home I usually either put it in my cannister set or put it in plastic baggies. This time I did not inspect, and I just left it in the bag. I was digging in my cabinet to get my pancake mix and saw a ton of flour on the bottom of the shelf and looked closer and...bugs!! So I emptied everything out trying to find the culprit, and it narrowed down to the flour. There were holes in the bag where the bugs had either made their way in or out, I can't be for sure! The bag was still sealed shut though, I hadn't opened it yet. Either way, I opened the bag just to double check and sure enough there were little creepy crawlers making their way around inside it! It got put in the trash immediately and brought outside. Eww!!

If you notice next to the flour in its original bag, there is other flour in a plastic baggy, yep, should've done that!

Inside too!!

Guam Botanics: Hibiscus

A picture from my back neighbors yard

Guam Wildlfe: Poisonous Cane Toad

Found this little critter in my front yard, luckily Molly didn't see it!

Guam Botanics: Plumeria

Angel Love

Momma, Daddy and their two little angels. I love it! Thank you Jen, you're the best!

Called In

Got called in today for the 3 pm-11 pm shift. This was a picture as I was heading out the front door....technically it was still 11ish? It was in the 11 o'clock hour I guess!

See my sad puppy dog eyes?

Mom, can I please have a bite of your omelet? I'll be really good I promise!

Keepin the Kids Busy

Thank God for the Wii! Keepin the kids busy at the cookout.

Getting Ready for a Cookout

Delivery Day

Shortly after losing my Emilyn Elisabeth and Hailey Grace I came into contact with many other Angel Moms. These women have gotten me through the hardest time of my life, and are still carrying me through my day to day struggles. One question I asked them was what can I do to honor my sweet babies, and some of them gave me suggestions they had done. One in particular stuck with me: making baby blankets for angels. I started out making flannel receiving blankets and then another Angel Mom taught me how to make fleece no sew ones and I fell in love with making them. So I started making those as well. I’ve decided the flannel ones will be for the preemies in the NICU and the fleece ones are for the angel babies. I have been working tirelessly, for selfish reasons: making them gives me moments of peace. I have chosen today, my estimated due date for Emilyn and Hailey, to deliver these to the local hospitals. Since I can’t deliver my sweet baby girls on this day, I will deliver these blankets I made and hats my mom made to help other angel moms and moms to sick little ones.

All the blankets and hats ready to be put in bags and delivered to the hospitals.


Charles, Molly and I standing in front of the room Emilyn and Hailey were delivered in as well as the room they took their last breaths in. Molly was my nurse when Emilyn and Hailey were delivered, I'm not sure how I would have made it through without her. I was glad that she happened to be on duty today and that I got to speak to her.


Me with the GMH L/D nursing staff after bringing the blankets and hats there.


The also wanted a picture of just me so I figured I'd put it in here as well.


The Poem I Attached for the Angel Babies: Author Unknown
These are my footprints,
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints
never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have wings.
These tiny footprints were meant
for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints,
in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
if you just give me the chance.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind,
and call each one that grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints,
are found on Mommy and Daddy's hearts.
'Cause even though I'm gone now,
We'll never truly part.

Typical Guam: License Plate Edition

It didn't take us long to notice this trend on Guam. The locals seem to be unable to place their registration stickers on top of each other. Instead, they like to frame their license plate in them, and if they run out of spots they even put some in the center. Not sure if it's for decoration, or if it is because they want to show how long they have had the car. Either way, it makes us laugh from time to time. I finally decided to take a few pictures for our memory box. These ones are actually not bad, didn't see any of the really bad ones today.

Typical Guam: Beach Edition

I have always said that Guam is beautiful.....if you're focused in on one area. You can take absoloutely beautiful pictures, but if you can a few degrees either way it's not so pretty!

This is the picture of my view from my towel at Ritidian Beach, beautiful view of the waves crashing over the coral!


Scan about 90 degrees to the right and this is what you get.....a dirty diaper left on the beach just for our enjoyment!

When All Else Fails

Puppies! Molly begging for my peanut butter overload ice cream. Notice her expert use of the sad puppy dog eyes.

Pretty Flowers

We finally got around to planting some flowers in our pots again. They're not much right now, but in a few weeks they'll grow into the pot and be so pretty! Now if I can just get rid of my black thumb and keep them alive!

Guam's Proudest

So we went on a trip down to Big Navy. I learned something new last night and thought I would take a few pictures and share them with you

This is Chief Kepuha. He was the islands first Chief to turn to Catholocism as his religion. This statue is along Marine Corps Drive, right next to the Chamorro village and is one of the busiest intersections on Guam.


This is the Latte of Freedom which was recently dedicated to Ricky Bordallo, a former Governor of Guam who passed away February 1, 1990. His widow Madeleine Bordallo is currently a non-voting member of the House of Representatives. Ricky Bordallo was tried and convicted on ten counts of corruption, including bribery, witness tampering, obstruction of justice and extortion. Now, 8 of those were overturned but the obstruction of justice and witness tampering remained and he was sentenced to jail. Within hours of when he was supposed to report to a prison in California he decided to chain himself to the statue of Chief Kepuha during rush hour traffic and shoot himself in the head. He also placed a few signs up around the Chamorro Village, one of which said "I regret that I have one life to give my island".....should we add in plagirism to his charges too? So tell me Guam, why did we dedicate this "Latte of Freedom" to this criminal even if it was his idea to do it in the first place.

Dessert

Ok.....so maybe I need to find better things to take pictures of other than food. Kinda hard when you don't do much all day! I'll work on it!

Dinner Time

Before


After




I never liked rice before. Something about having rice included in almost every meal I ate in Hawaii gave me a taste for it. The past few days I've been craving it, so I decided to make mom's stir fry. It was really yummy, my plate was empty at the end of the meal! Got some leftovers too!

Angels Can Share Too

My sweet baby girls are sharing their crib for a good cause. These blankets will be donated to the Mother Baby Unit at the hospital I delivered at for angel babies as well as the NICU and Labor and Delivery Unit at the hospital I work at for the angel babies and preemies. The little hats will also be donated to the hospital I work at, my mom made those, I can't knit.

Good Girl

Molly really wanted the ball with treats in it that was right behind the camera, but she stayed like a good girl. Gotta love her flipped back ears too!

Bottoms Up

Here's to a healthy stomach soon! My two hopeful cure-alls. A strawberry kefir smoothie that actually tastes pretty good! Plus my OJ, it's not the OJ, it's what's in it that is supposed to "cure" me according to the doctor. Hmm.....adding the kefir in just in case.

New Toys and Easter for Angels

Momma got some new toys!


Happy first Easter in heaven my sweet angels Emilyn Elisabeth and Hailey Grace

Pretty Please?

For those of you that don't know, I have been struggling with stomach issues since shortly after I lost my sweet baby girls. Antibiotics caused the original problem, and I have been on three different rounds of antibiotics since, nothing has worked. Antibiotics have just torn my stomach and intestines up more. Now, I am all for antibiotics, you should take them if you need them, but I think in my case with this particular problem, it has just made matters worse than actually helping. Here's a little info on kefir's health benefits.

"Easily digested, it cleanses the intestines, provides beneficial bacteria and yeast, vitamins and minerals, and complete proteins. Because kefir is such a balanced and nourishing food, it contributes to a healthy immune system and has been used to help patients suffering from AIDS, chronic fatigue syndrome, herpes, and cancer. Its tranquilizing effect on the nervous system has benefited many who suffer from sleep disorders, depression, and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).


The regular use of kefir can help relieve all intestinal disorders, promote bowel movement, reduce flatulence and create a healthier digestive system. In addition, its cleansing effect on the whole body helps to establish a balanced inner ecosystem for optimum health and longevity.

Kefir can also help eliminate unhealthy food cravings by making the body more nourished and balanced. Its excellent nutritional content offers healing and health-maintenance benefits to people in every type of condition."
Pulled from kefir.net

Sleepy Time

Nap time after work, and Molly joined in!

Proud Momma

Keeping them Close


I got our team t-shirts in the mail today, it's been a wonderful week of deliveries! Here I am modelling the girls style t-shirt, the boys is kelly green with yellow print, also very cute!! In one of those boxes were my thumbies, I had Emilyn and Hailey's hand prints etched onto a silver pendant so I can keep them close to me always.